another 20 mph sort of weekend

That quote under the title of this blog is from my good friend Paul, and it was referring to a trip to Williamsburg, VA that I took in under 36 hours a few years ago.

Well, this past weekend reaffirmed that quote, and how appropriate that it was back to Williamsburg for Paul's wedding to the amazing Laura. My role in the wedding was to deliver by noon Paul's groomsman and youngest brother, Pat, who had a prom to attend in NJ the night before.

Challenge accepted.

We left Pine Beach at 4AM. My friends Mike and Katy came so that 1. they could visit our friend Eric in Mechanicsville, on the way to Williamsburg, and 2. so that there were a few more passengers who might be awake with me. Good thing they came, because Pat was a little bit tired. Actually, Katy was too. They were like toddlers, asleep in the back seat.

I drove into sunrise around the Delaware Memorial Bridge. Pee break at one of the northern Maryland houses. Coffee break at Hyperion in Fredericksburg. Dropped off Katy and Mike at Eric's, and got myself ready for the wedding there (figuring I couldn't mess myself up too badly during the hour of car ride that Pat and I had left from there).

Hit traffic.

STILL got Pat to the hotel by 11:30.

I wandered around Williamsburg for a little while, enjoying the Wawa in the historic building and a lengthy fife and drum parade before wandering back to the church, still a bit early for the wedding. I dozed in the car in the parking lot for a while, listening to the musicians warm up.

And then, the wedding. The beautiful, beautiful wedding. Congratulations to Paul and Laura!

The reception was lots of fun (great beer!). I enjoyed catching up with some wonderful people.

The drive the next morning was not the greatest. Well, the drive was fine, but man I was tired. I went home Sunday morning to make it for my afternoon concert at church. Thank goodness for Mike and Katy, whose collective company kept me awake and alert the whole time. Another glorious 20ish mph weekend.

I believe I deserve an A+ in day trips and changes of scenery...

...but definitely fail in planning ahead and getting adequate sleep.

After several weeks? months? of being in one state and not really going too far, I was desperate for a change of scenery. All semester I've been telling my cousin and my undergraduate advisor that I would come sit in on the class that the former is currently taking with the latter. I had Monday off. These stars all aligned and I took a day trip to Fredericksburg!

I stayed with Amanda and Mike in Bear, Delaware on Sunday night after a lovely Easter with my choir and my family. As I pulled off the highway into their neighborhood, I noticed ahead on the highway a sign for Route 301. The wheels were turning as I fell asleep in their guest room...

I woke up at dark o'clock and turned back on that highway. It's been years since I've taken 301 to get to Fredericksburg. Several cars and chicken trucks were heading north, but I did not see another car heading south with me until nearly sunrise, about an hour and a half after I left. Very peaceful drive along a rolling landscape.

Got to Mary Washington around 8:30AM and immediately picked up my cousin for a visit to Hyperion before following her to that class.Everything in Fredericksburg was blooming and gorgeous. I was so happy to have Hyperion in my hand and head to the geography department.

Class was good, and hanging out with my former professors was really great. I was so happy to have this change of scenery so heavy laden with dogwood flowers, cherry blossoms and wonderful people.

After class, I walked downtown to meet Jeremy, my stand partner from eight consecutive semesters of wind ensemble. We got more Hyperion (yay! and this excitement from the girl who doesn't drink coffee usually...) and sat in his office on the top floor of the museum overlooking a busy intersection downtown. It was basically awesome.

Beautiful, beautiful day. The weather cooperated, the drive wasn't terrible (even if it was ridiculous) and the change of scenery has me feeling refreshed and excited. A+

quick drive to visit Spain

as in the tribe, not the country.

I love my people. I know that I am seriously lucky to be related to so many kind, hilarious, wonderful individuals on both sides of my family. This weekend was a Spain weekend though. My cousin Bekea and her family were up from Kentucky, so we gathered en masse for lunch yesterday. It was wonderful to meet her new daughter Bronwen, to congratulate Jon and Janet on their engagement, to see Kathie's girls (even if they still haven't figured out who I am), to see pictures of Tulip and hear how ridiculous she is, and to catch up with everyone a little bit.

Aside from the normal banter and sarcasm though were some words of encouragement that I don't think were meant to be a subtle pep talk, but really lifted my spirits that have been dragging a bit for the past couple of months. (This is not to say that the love that many of you have extended to me has not been appreciated; believe you me, I would not have left my pile of blankets on the couch without your words.) I guess I've developed a reputation as a world traveler? I totally love this. The first question from many of my cousins was, "Where to next?"

The truth is, not too far for a while. I'm heading to Fredericksburg in a week for a quick visit with my cousin and my alma mater. I'll be in Virginia toward the end of the month for a lovely friend's bridal shower and my fourth attempt at the Muddy Buddy. I'm planning hopefully two short trips to the beautiful country to the north this summer (Walpole Island, Ontario and all over New Brunswick in July and August, respectively). These are all wonderful things. (and I guess I'm not giving them enough credit for not exactly being in my backyard...)

What I loved most about the "where to next" was the open endedness of it. Just because next isn't that imminent, doesn't mean it's not going to happen. I don't have any elaborate plans yet, but I'm really excited about leaving my life up to all of these nexts and yets, and really owe a lot of people more thanks than I could possibly express.

Besides giving me things to contemplate and smile about, the Spain family just makes me laugh a lot. So, thanks for that too, guys.

But thanks everyone, Spain or not, for all of the love you've sent my way as I figure out the nexts and the yets of my life. Seriously.

Peace Corps Update

As many of you know, I applied to serve with Peace Corps. This is something I'd been thinking about for a very long time, especially since my short time in Malawi, and after spending a lot of time talking with friends who have gone through the program, it seemed like the right time. I have long been interested in the developing world and serving others there. I actually applied back in October and had my interview in December. And then I waited.

and waited.

and waited.

And about a month ago, I received an email from my recruiter. I was not placed. She has withdrawn my application.



This has been extremely devastating and deeply frustrating. The days that followed were full of tears and lacking sound sleep. My immediate reaction was that I didn't want anyone to know. At that time, it's honestly because I was embarrassed. Who gets rejected from Peace Corps? What's wrong with me? How did this happen? What am I going to do? All questions that I didn't particularly want to answer, and still don't. It took a couple of weeks for this news to sink in and not completely overwhelm me every day. I still can't get it off my mind though.

I want to apologize to those of you who have asked me about this in the past month. I carefully responded to almost all of you, "I'm still waiting" because in a way, I am. I'm planning on reactivating my application and going through the placement process again, in hopes of a better outcome. I am sorry for misleading you, but I hope you can understand how much I've been struggling with this.

Eventually the embarrassment gave way to a nasty cycle of self-doubt, which continued my strong feelings of not telling anyone. While I've been rejected from tons of jobs in the past year, this one really hurt. This is something I was really excited for, really confident about and really looking forward to. I've been feeling rather low about myself. I know I am totally blessed with a lot of loving, encouraging people in my life, but in spending all of this time thinking about this whole situation, I also realized that what I need right now in my life is not pep talks, which is what lead me to continue not telling anyone. I don't actually think I'm a terrible person, in fact, in general, I think my education and experience are pretty great and that I'm a relatively qualified citizen of earth. I'm ok. But I am struggling with this, and trying to convince me that I am not loser only makes me feel worse for feeling bad in the first place. It's an ugly cycle, I know, but I'm being honest-- that's where I am with this.

If you're reading this, there's a good chance that you care enough about me to just keep being who you are in my life, which is what I really need right now. I still don't really want to talk about this, and I'm really hoping that this reactivation leads to much happier news soon.

I have written and rewritten this several times now, and the words never seem quite right, but I think I'm just going to share it as is, because it's quite a weight I've been carrying and I'm hoping that unloading it will be the first step into the next awesome part of my life, whatever it may be.

Nothing like driving across the state, through the Pines, on Route 70, enjoying the last of a beautiful day's sunshine, having three of your favorite girls in the recently cleaned car with you. Also awesome-- the destination was the Haddonfield Presbyterian Church, one of my stops on the Johnsonburg World Tour last year, to enjoy the beautiful concert put on by Baylor A Capella. Great day.

winding down 571

Yesterday I took a trip out to Princeton to help my friend Pam with a research project. I've mentioned before that when I go to Princeton, I prefer to take a winding county road, Route 571. It goes through the Pine Barrens a bit before some old farmland before getting out to Princeton. It takes nearly twice as long but it's so pleasant to drive.

Pam needed to interview me for a research project about Harry Potter. It was actually a great conversation. Afterward, we met up with several other Princeton people (mostly seminarians) for lunch. Jeffrey, Emma, Kate, Pam, Andrew and I enjoyed some soup and sandwiches and ridiculous conversation about camp and youth ministry and other silliness. Andrew was telling me about this awesome park in Princeton with dozens and dozens of exotic trees (and natives! and all mapped and labelled!) that he and some of our friends recently went to before ending their adventures at Triumph Brewery. I told him it sounded like the best day ever, and he said, "Funny you should say that..." and then gave me the quote of my life that had apparently come up amongst the boys at the brewery that night--


"If someone ever wanted to wine and dine Colleen, that's probably how they should do that."

Except instead of "wine and dine" it should probably be "tree and beer". And he's absolutely right.



I'm still getting over my cold from last week, otherwise we probably would have gone to Triumph for lunch.

My drive home on 571 was absolutely lovely, winding through Mercer, Monmouth and Ocean counties. This time I was particularly taken with Roosevelt Township, a homestead resettlement project under the New Deal in 1937. The project failed, but it's a nice small town with a lot of farmland around it, much of which is preserved. It was a beautiful day and a nice drive. I love visiting Princeton.

This morning I drove the guest director from yesterday's bell festival to Philadelphia airport. I had a few hours before work and our director, who organizes the festival, really needed someone to drive. I like driving. It worked out well.

I've driven out Route 70 through the Pine Barrens many, many times but tend to pick out different things to focus on each time. Today I was kind of contemplating the back roads that I never take, and what they're like.

On the way out to the airport, I passed a terrible wreck around 11:15 and probably ten emergency vehicles. A pickup was wrapped around a tree on the eastbound side, facing westbound. It was clear to me that the driver could not have survived. I have no idea how the truck went off the road like that in the middle of a clear, dry day.

The mess was still there when I was coming back from the airport two hours later. Traffic was being diverted onto one of those very side roads I was curious about. It was a single lane road that went by a few simple houses. A man was out for a run and probably wondering where all of these cars were coming from. It was interesting to get off Route 70 for a few minutes, but unfortunately a very sad reminder that despite my cold, despite my aches from the weekend, despite how tired I was and didn't feel like going to work later-- my day was most definitely not so bad.

Leader of the Year

Now that I work four part-time jobs and have one unpaid internship, the adventures have unfortunately been kept to a minimum. However, this past weekend was Jr. High Wintercamp at Lake Champion, which is not my favorite place in the world but I do love our middle school youth group and the hilarity that ensues when taking them on adventures...

I actually left earlier than our group on Friday because I needed to be back earlier than our group on Sunday for the annual handbell festival at church. Mike kindly agreed to drive up with me. We left well ahead of rush hour, so had enough time to stop at Johnsonburg because I 1. wanted to hike, 2. wanted to say hello, 3. am constantly campsick and 4. why not, it wasn't that far out of the way. After a pleasant afternoon of Red Trail, hanging out by the fireplace with Kate from Princeton, pizza with the retreat staff and tea with Kurt, Lorelei, Tadd and Abi, we carried on to Glen Spey, New York to register our group for the retreat and await their arrival.

Doug, Katie and fourteen of our middle schoolers arrived in good time, unpacked and immediately got going. At the first leaders' meeting, I volunteered myself and one of our youth for an on-stage activity without listening to what the game was-- turns out it was pie roulette. Thankfully, I was able to slam a whipped cream pie in my kid's face and leave the stage before anyone could get me.

We were extremely fortunate to have sunny, blue skies despite strong predictions of heavy rains. Saturday was a beautiful day. A bit windy, a bit chilly, but it's winter and it was just nice to be able to hang out with the group in the sunshine. My favorite part was probably when they were all exploring the rocky little stream by the bridge; I'd told them to stay away from it in the morning because I didn't want to deal with cold, soggy children, but when I was elsewhere in the afternoon, they wandered down and told me upon catching them there, "Mike said it was ok." Mike did not say it was ok, but I told them fine, as long as there was no whining when they fell in. Many fell in. None whined. It was very peaceful and pleasant just watching them enjoy being outside and in each other's company.

Evening came. After the last group meeting on Saturday night, the retreat traditionally has a skit night lead by various leaders. This year they had something called the Leader Challenge instead. Because I have lots of enthusiasm and no shame, I volunteered for our group. The Challenge went something like this--

Round 1: Relay. All of the leaders were corralled on the stage in the front of the room and given various tasks to complete and be one of the first eight to return to the stage. Tasks included, "Go back to your youth group and return with a scarf tied around your head" (for once in my life I did not bring a scarf, nor did any of our people, so I ran to the youth group where someone tied a jacket around my head-- the leaders accepted it, and I passed the first round); "Go touch the back wall of the room and put on three sweatshirts from your youth group" (almost thwarted by my group's enthusiasm-- they kept putting the sweatshirts on me, one arm through a sleeve, one arm through the neck hole. Every time. I won this round anyway.). Several other ridiculous feats later, the task was to touch the back wall and return to the stage with a youth on our backs. Thankfully, my youth group had one teensy hyperactive child who was perfect for that job. Unfortunately, the final task was to do a lap around the room with said youth on my back, which would have been fine had I not badly pulled my left quad at some point during the round. That was the only part I lost.

Round 2: Trivia. Specifically, middle school trivia. Also, the challenge leaders sprayed us in the face with water guns while we answered, because a room full of screaming junior high kids wasn't enough. Luckily, my questions were, "Who was Woody's owner in Toy Story?" and "What team does Tim Tebow play for" (which I admit, I second guessed myself-- which horse team? Colts? Broncos? But one of our youth group boys was thankfully doing star jumps and screaming BRONCOS! BRONCOS! at the top of his lungs) and "Name the 13 original colonies" (which I admit now that I got wrong in the insanity of the moment, but the guys seemed impressed enough that I was able to quickly name 13 old, east coast states and accepted it... I said Maine but left out Georgia. My bad.). I think the only reason I made it past this round was because it was down to three of us (they needed two) and the girl before me was asked to name all four Beatles... which she didn't seem to be able to do while being sprayed with water and screamed at by all of the middle schoolers, but my kids helped by yelling things like, "ADAM SANDLER! BILLY JOEL!"

Round 3: the pies. It was down to me and one other girl. We were plastic wrapped from our shoulders to our ankles and laid face down on the stage. A line of whipped cream pies was set up, and the object was to squirm our way up the stage and plant our faces in each one along the way. Remember the all the enthusiasm/none of the shame moment? I owned the competition and was crowned Leader Of The Year.

There was also a redemption round for all of the people who didn't win--

Round 4: the mayonnaise. Thankfully it wasn't really mayo, but plain yogurt in little mayo jars that we had to eat with our hands. I won this too.

The weather was beautiful and as always, I am so so thankful to have such amazing youth. Despite coming down with a really rough cold and being covered with bruises and I'm pretty sure there's still whipped cream up my nose and in my ear, we had a pretty great time together.

Happy New Year!

I've never really done anything particularly crazy for New Year's (except the time I was in Sunderland, England and called home at midnight there because I thought it would be funny that it was only 7PM at home, and home's response was "You must be drunk, it's only 7PM here). Most years involve some combination of laid back friends, cheese and crackers, board games, the Twilight Zone marathon, and watching the ball drop in Times Square on the TV at midnight.

This year was chill as ever due to the fact that I had to work at my stupid job till 10PM. I joined Jamie and Katie and a few of their friends from high school at a small bar in Pine Beach for a little while before heading back to Jamie's house. Jamie and Katie went in the hot tub and I sat nearby, bundled up.

It was chilly, clear night. Tons of stars. Very quiet and peaceful. We didn't have the TV or radio on, in fact, were pretty much sitting in the dark. And then it happened-- we could hear some distant shouting which quickly grew louder and was joined with pots and pans, party horns, firecrackers and fireworks. Midnight happened, as it would whether we were paying attention or not. I kind of liked it that way.

Happy 2012. It's off to a pretty good start-- today I played music in church, walked my brother's sweet dog, took an awesome nap, bottled my latest home brew (a stout!), and am watching the Twilight Zone.

Let the good times roll.

08732

Not too long ago I found this blog about a guy's adventures in loving the United States Postal Service. More specifically, I found it when this entry was posted, and I thought, I love roadtrips and adventures, and I am also a chronic letter writer and package mailer! Certainly I have a story to share!

So I wrote to Evan, the blog's author, wishing him well on his final exams and letting him know of my enthusiasm for all of the things he writes about. The initial back and forth went something like this--

me: Hey, ohmygoshIlovetheUSPSandroadtrips, also here are some vague details about this place I lived for a while in northwestern New Jersey whose post office closed earlier this year
Evan: Oh, you mean here?

Evan knows his post offices.

I have probably driven past hundreds of post offices on my adventures, but I pondered a bit about any that are particularly meaningful to me. Aside from the aforementioned, now-closed Johnsonburg post office, I mainly do my USPS business at the Island Heights office, which aside being the most convenient location for me is probably also my hands-down favorite.

Island Heights is a teensy borough surrounded by Toms River, with lovely old Victorian homes and a short boardwalk along the river. The post office is located along the Barnegat Bay, which the Toms River empties into. It's big enough that they always have the breast cancer awareness stamps that I like to buy, but small enough that the lines are never overwhelming. The Toms River Post Office is always a lot busier and is also a pain to get into with all of the traffic pattern changes in downtown TR. Island Heights is about the same distance and is much more peaceful.

Some of that peace is probably because the post office is the waterfront location. It's very quiet, and the Barnegat just stretches out ahead of you as you walk up to the small building, which isn't particularly impressive or attractive but does its job. I believe the current building was dedicated under Eisenhower, though the USPS established itself in Island Heights in 1879. I love the view of the barrier island, with each beach's water tower creating the occasional blip on the horizon, and the view of the Mathis and Tunney bridges connecting the island to the mainland. I love the smell of the brackish to salty air and the consistent breeze. Oh, and I love mailing people things. It works out rather well.

counting the cars on the New Jersey turnpike but not with that song

Last night, I drove my dear friend and former office mate Irene to the airport. She's heading home to Venezuela for the holidays. I know it's strange, but I enjoy airport runs, especially at odd hours. Hardly anyone was on the road, and I had a very peaceful drive.

I know there's a section of Turnpike that smells terrible followed immediately by a section of the Turnpike that looks pretty terrible, and I often complain that this is a large part of why so many people hate New Jersey. However, once past the smell tonight heading northbound, I kind of enjoyed the lit up skyline and the shadows of Newark Airport and Elizabeth Seaport. I don't necessarily find it beautiful, but it's what I see when I fly home.

The jazz station in Newark kept me company for most of the way (good range in the overnight!) and then I was fortunate enough that my CD player was warmed up and in a good mood for the drive back to Toms River. Since my CD player only works when it feels like it, my Tag Out mix was still in and I enjoyed it immensely on my drive back south.

1. Bon Iver: Woods- appropriately peaceful and interesting
2. DeVotchka: All the Sand in All the Sea- The part that always gets me? Leaving my Walden, or whatever other amazing places I've found myself in life.
3. Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes: 40 Day Dream- "Yeah, I know I'm sleeping, 'cause this dream's too amazing."
4. Dawes: When My Time Comes- I've thought about it for hours but still don't know what to say about this song. It needed to be here.
5. Donovan Frankenreiter: Heading Home- Yes I was. Am. I like to think I'm on a constant journey for home.
6. Talking Heads: Once in a Lifetime- "You may ask yourself, where does that highway go to?" Yes, yes I do. All the time.
7. OK Go: This Too Shall Pass- such a positive, hopeful song.
8. Bill Withers: Let it Be- I'm picky about my Beatles covers, but this one passes the test and takes a lovely song and puts it in a very positive, upbeat setting
9. Josh Ritter: Long Shadows- I'm not afraid of the dark, we've been here before... just as figurative as it is literal for me.
10. Eels: Fresh Feeling- reminding me it's time for something fresh
11. Florence + the Machine: Cosmic Love- I missed this during staff training, but it meant so much to everyone around me, especially someone in particular who means so much to me (that little sister I acquired, Abi)
12. Old Crow Medicine Show: Wagon Wheel- the opening line "Headin' down south to the land of the pines" was geographically correct for the journey this was intended for (and many of my mini-roadtrips), plus was reminiscent of Noah and Diana singing it all summer, most notably during Licepocalypse
13. Loudon Wainwright III: The Swimming Song- Noah's choice, the opening song for the summer 2011 slideshow, and a very nice illustration of much that I do
14. Bruno Mars: Count on Me- Courtney's choice for the staff slideshow, which I initially whined about (come ON, Bruno Mars?) but was really happy with how perfectly it fit the situation
15. Josh Ritter: Lantern- my choice for the slideshow, a song I absolutely love for its positive words and sound, and how it uses a lantern as a love symbol when a lantern is a symbol of so many other wonderful things in my life
16. Dispatch: Out Loud- except I have the original Bang Bang acoustic version which I can't seem to find online... this closed the slideshow
17. The Low Anthem: The Horizon is a Beltway- It is a beltway, or some other road to somewhere... hopefully with better traffic than the Beltway I frequent the most (the one around D.C.)

I arrived home just in time for sunrise, but I decided to enjoy dawn from the bay in Island Heights, instead of by the ocean, just for something different.

Tree of the day: the pretty little holly tree growing next to the post office that I sat next to for the sunrise. It seems seasonally appropriate.



Good morning from the Jersey shore.