tough week.

Sometimes, the world is the worst.

This week, there was another school shooting. Part of me is glad that it wasn't all over the news, drawing more attention to the awful situation, sensationalizing and politicizing the tragedy and giving other people awful ideas. But part of me is also really, really sad, because we have so many incidents like this that it doesn't make for big news anymore.

This incident hit me particularly hard because this was a middle school in the district Mike had interviewed with when we traveled to Nevada together almost a year and a half ago. Cue the existential crisis and "what if"s, as well as the fear that this can really happen anywhere.

The other thing weighing heavily on me is news of a fatal two car accident in Mike's area, one car with a pair of adults and the other with a pair of teenagers (ages 14 and 17). The news hasn't reported anything about alcohol being involved, but the story around town that Mike heard is that the 14 year old was driving, drunk, an outlet she chose in response to her mother's boyfriend sexually abusing her and her mother not believing her. I'm hopeful it's just a rumor, but that story is not unrealistic at all, given the myriad social problems in his region. It's so sad to almost find thankfulness in that situation, that the child is at peace. What a shitty way to find peace.

The world is so messed up. Sometimes I get very overwhelmed by big problems, like southern Louisiana eroding away, or fracking, or pesticide use, or homelessness, or abuse, or hunger. But these two things this week, these things are just crushing my spirits. My problems are so small.

I am trying desperately to juxtapose these huge problems with the little things that make this a world I want to live in. Volunteering at Program of Hope with a few of my housemates this morning, watching Hannah and Alex interact with kindness, respect, and love with some of New Orleans' homeless community. Seeing Anna Leigh come home each day covered in all sorts of construction debris as she guides volunteers in rebuilding homes through Project Homecoming. Feeling Alyssa's enthusiasm as she helps recruit and provide hospitality for those volunteers after they've worked so hard restoring the community all day. Hearing all that Sydney is learning at her job with Jericho Road Housing Initiative and watching her help act that out in the community. Hearing about Kalyn's leadership  in supporting Habitat for Humanity at the Restore. Watching Jess face numerous challenges in her position at the community garden but never waver in her passion for food justice. Knowing that dozens more YAVs throughout the US and world are doing good work, too.

Finding out that Mike's girls' volleyball team won their final game of the season, and the excitement that followed despite the fact that it was only their second win overall. Learning he made a donation to the school district for one of those girls to play. Hearing that he's raised grades and test scores in that ever-challenging community.

Talking with other people who are excited to care for our earth at the conference and in my day to day work, and all of the people who have supported me and cheered me on in my work through letters, postcards, packages, emails, phone calls, hugs and high fives.

That's what I need to focus on right now, all of the little good things. Because there are always going to be terrible things happening in the world, but there will always, ALWAYS be more good things happening, whether it's reported on the news or not.